Because I'm a potato

stupidbeecandle:

vaportea:

depsidase:

the notes of this post are absolute comedy gold

Im going to miss the way i used to eat gently and trustingly from the waitstaffs cupped hands.

(via ceramic-turtle)

rainbow-burst:

QMFMZMDMSMDDMDM

(via ceramic-turtle)

fungaloids:

fungaloids:

i know lots of you might be worrying about what you need to move into your first apartment. that’s why i put this little checklist together! 

1. fog machine
2. 
   

this 5 year old post continues to get funnier every day i haven’t moved out of my parents house btw

(via ceramic-turtle)

beatsmybongo:

(via ceramic-turtle)

ayeforscotland:

The Onion’s journalism is the only journalism that matters. Holy fuck.

(via kittensandsunshine)

belinsky:

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

#in honour of they very much did kill jesus day

(via kittensandsunshine)

some-fantastic-url-name:

just-watch-me-hachiko:

ulanji:

torukun1:

letmebecrystalqueer:

yourfavmoroccan:

i-am-haram:

chai tea (tea tea)

naan bread (bread bread)

sharia law (law law)

sahara desert (desert desert)

lake tahoe (lake lake)

el camino way (the way way)

pendle hill (hill hill hill)

soviet union (union union)

mississippi river (big river river)

the los angeles angels (the the angels angels)

hula dance (dance dance)
dc comics (detective comics comics)

shakira (shakira)

(via ceramic-turtle)

songsofwaterandnight:

gaymageclub:

pitbolshevik:

pitbolshevik:

pitbolshevik:

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

omw to go sit in your pool

this is why kennedy space center had to install fancy outward-curving fences around the launchpad, bc gators climbing over regular fences and getting on the launchpad could be very dangerous

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

(via ceramic-turtle)

bogleech:

bogleech:

good-pokemon-center-reviews:

How funny is it that in pokemon you can technically receive three of the same character and it’s also technically the wrong character

Imagine this with any other franchise though like someone gets three homer simpson dolls in a bundle and they’re like “aw I wanted Homer, this is Homest”

(via ceramic-turtle)